I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!). Recently, I read a post about a child who was deliberately damaging day care property, everything from toys, to day care furniture and including personal items belonging to the provider. The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty ‘I’m sorry’ and offer no discussion nor action for remedy. The provider is pretty distraught at this point. To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items. Unfortunately, dealing with difficult behavior can be a staple of day care life and can lead to some unpleasant situations.

Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life. A firm and consistent approach is vital in dealing with same regardless what the reasons for the behavior. When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to ‘meet the parents’. Parent and provider working together is key to dealing with challenging behavior successfully.

Discussion will uncover if similar behavior occurs in the home, if there is a root cause that can help all parties better understand the triggers and reasons for the behavior. Most importantly though, the parent/provider meeting will ensure that a mutual behavior plan is on the table and everyone is on the same page. It is pointless if you are being consistent and constructive in your handling of the child if the same positive actions are not dealt out at home.

Individual plans can be formulated using your behavior policy as an outline (please tell me you have a behavior policy!). Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation. This might also be a good time to revise your parent contract to include when parents will be expected to reimburse you for excessive damage caused by their child.

Insert also your ‘end of tether’ clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Don’t forget, sometimes professional, outside help is required!.that does not indicate failure on the part of either the provider or parent. It is simply the best way forward in some cases.

10 years of running a daycare leaves Fiona Lohrenz with a lot of knowledge to impart. This she does on her website plus on her ‘Start a ChildCare Business’ DVD guide: Start A Day Care Business DVD You can find her at her website: ChildCareOnly.com

- Fiona Lohrenz